Digital Wedding Invitations for a Frum Wedding: Etiquette, Wording and Who Still Gets Paper

Digital invitations can work well for a frum wedding. The key is knowing who needs a personal call or a printed copy.

After that, the questions are practical ones: how to make a digital invitation look and read like a printed one, and how guests send a gift when there’s no reply envelope.

Are Digital Wedding Invitations OK for a Frum Wedding?

Here is the short answer. The rest of this guide explains each line.

Why Families Choose Digital Invitations

Cost. A printed invitation is paid for twice: once at the printer and again at the post office. One writer in Dei’ah veDibur described invitations that came out too heavy for a single stamp and told readers to “do the math for 360 envelopes.” A digital invitation has no paper, envelope or postage. With SimchaMaker, sending costs one credit per guest by email or text, and designing the invitation is free.

Waste. The same writer observed that a printed invitation usually hangs on the refrigerator for a week or two and then goes in the garbage. Some families also see digital invitations as a way to keep bal tashchit, the prohibition on needless waste.

RSVPs in one place. Paper RSVPs come back as response cards, one envelope at a time, and someone has to open them and tally the count. With a digital invitation, every guest answers through their own link, and the answers collect in one list as they arrive, along with who opened the invitation and who hasn’t.

Family overseas. A digital invitation reaches Eretz Yisrael, England or anywhere else the moment you send it, with no international postage and no wondering whether it arrived.

Who Should Still Get a Printed or Personal Invitation

A digital invitation doesn’t have to mean digital for everyone. Some guests need a different approach.

• Grandparents and older relatives. Some don’t use email or don’t read invitations on a phone. Print a copy for them, or ask a family member to show them the invitation and help them answer.
• Your rav, rosh yeshiva and mesader kiddushin. Call or visit, and send the invitation as well. The call is the invitation; the digital copy carries the details.
• Anyone receiving a kibbud. Ask personally before the invitation goes out, so nobody learns from the invitation that they’re being honored.
• Anyone who’d like a keepsake. Parents often want a printed invitation for the album or the wall.

You don’t need a second design for any of them. In SimchaMaker you can download the same invitation as a print-ready PDF and PNG at 300 DPI and take it to a printer. If you’re ordering foil stamping or letterpress, check the printer’s file requirements first. The first download of a design costs 10 credits, and later downloads of the same design are free.

Gifts and Thank-You Cards Without a Reply Envelope

Many guests still like to give a check, and a printed invitation’s reply envelope made that easy. Some families keep paper invitations partly for that reason. A digital invitation can make giving just as easy, without anyone having to ask.

In SimchaMaker, add your registries on the event’s Gift Registries page. They appear on the invitation page and in the invitation email, so guests find them without searching. Registries from stores such as Amazon, Crate & Barrel and Eichlers fill in item by item and show what’s still needed. A registry from any other store shows as a link.

For guests who’d rather give money, add a short note with your Zelle details or where to send a check. It shows right on the invitation page. Adding registries and notes costs no credits.

After the wedding, SimchaMaker keeps track of the gifts and handles the thank-you cards too:

• Record each gift as it arrives. Note it against the guest, as money with the amount or as an item with a short description. A guest can have more than one gift, and a private note, such as where a gift is stored, is never sent to anyone.
• See who’s been thanked. The gift list is searchable and shows at a glance who has had a thank-you and who hasn’t.
• Write one message and send it to everyone. Each card fills in the guest’s name and a mention of their gift, and goes out by email, or by text if you have no email address. By default it says “your generous gift” rather than the amount, and you can change that in one click.
• Different words for different guests. Save a warmer template for family and a shorter one for others. Each guest only ever gets one thank-you card.

Email or Text: Which to Use for Whom

Use email for most guests. It carries the full invitation and reads like a formal invitation. Use text for guests who live on their phones or whose email you don’t have. Both go to each guest individually, with a personal link to view the invitation and RSVP, and each costs one credit.

Send on a weekday, and early enough in the week that the invitation doesn’t land on Shabbos or Yom Tov for family in other time zones.

Making a Digital Invitation Look Like a Printed One

The best digital invitations look as much like a printed invitation as possible, wording and all. Guests notice when an invitation has been cut down to fit a screen, so don’t shorten it.

• Keep the full traditional text. Kol Sasson, the honorifics, and the parents’ and grandparents’ names belong on a digital invitation just as they do on paper. Our guide to Hebrew wedding invitation wording covers the traditional text.
• Hebrew and English sides. On a SimchaMaker invitation, guests flip the card to see the other side, the same way they’d turn over a printed one.
• An envelope with their name on it. Each guest opens an animated envelope addressed to them, sealed with a wax seal that can carry your monogram.
• The finish of a printed card. Accent colors such as gold, silver and rose gold come with an optional metallic finish, along with a background texture and border.

Browse Hebrew and English designs.

Hebrew on Screen: What to Check Before You Send

• Right-to-left text. The Hebrew side should read right to left with its punctuation in place. SimchaMaker handles this, but read the whole Hebrew side once on a phone.
• The Hebrew date. An evening wedding falls on the next Hebrew day after sunset. Tick “After sunset” under the wedding date, and the Hebrew side moves to the next day and writes the date with אור ל, while the English side keeps the date you entered.
• A test send. Send the invitation to yourself and to one older relative’s phone before you send it to everyone.

Etiquette for Digital Invitations

• One invitation per household. Announce the engagement in the family WhatsApp group, but send the invitation itself to each household. An invitation in a group chat reads like a flyer.
• Follow up personally. Check who hasn’t opened the invitation a week or so after you send it, and call the ones who matter most.
• Remind once before the RSVP deadline. In SimchaMaker, reminders to everyone who hasn’t answered go out in one click. Our guide to when to send Jewish wedding invitations covers deadlines.
• Thank-you notes can be digital too. SimchaMaker tracks each gift and sends a personal thank-you card to every guest by email or text, as the gifts section above explains.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it rude to send wedding invitations by text?

No, as long as each guest gets their own invitation. A text that links to a full invitation with their name on it is personal. A forwarded message in a group chat isn’t.

Can you send a digital invitation to a rav or rosh yeshiva?

Yes, along with a personal call or visit. The call is the respectful way to invite them, and the digital invitation gives them the time and address.

Do you still need a printed invitation for the album or the wall?

Only if you want one. Print a handful of copies from the same design for parents, grandparents and the album.

Without a reply envelope, how do guests send a gift or a check?

Add your registries and a note with Zelle details or where to send a check to your invitation. Guests see them on the invitation page and in the email.

Can you combine printed and digital invitations?

Yes, and many families do: digital for most guests, printed copies of the same design for a few. Track everyone’s RSVP in one list either way.

Can you send wedding thank-you cards digitally?

Yes. In SimchaMaker you record each gift as it comes in, write one message, and every guest gets a personal card by email or text with their name and a mention of their gift. The gift list shows who still needs a thank-you.

Sources

• Tzvia Ehrlich-Klein, “Printed Invitation Do’s and Don’ts,” Dei’ah veDibur (June 2006). Postage for heavy invitations, and invitations thrown out after a week or two.
• Aimee Lyons, “Navigating the Digital Wedding Invitation Landscape: A Jewish Perspective,” Smashing the Glass (September 2023). Bal tashchit and digital invitations, and older guests and technology.

Planning Your Jewish Wedding?

SimchaMaker is built for Jewish weddings. Design a Hebrew and English invitation with the full traditional wording, send it by email or text, track RSVPs by side and by each part of the evening, print a few copies of the same design for the guests who want paper, and send thank-you cards when the gifts come in.